itsbetterthananal:

im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it

image

elphabaoftheopera:

This is a real thing that’s real.

Reblog - Posted 12 hours ago - via / Source with 607 notes

j5h:

me: aw yeah give it to me raw baby
guy: are u sure?
me: fuck yeah give it to me RAW
guy: i don’t want you to wake up with salmonella poisoning
me:
me:
me: okay give me the steak medium-well then
guy: alright have a nice night sir, enjoy your dinner

methimatics:

me at school

image

buttspectre:

why would you want to be an offensive stereotype for Halloween

when u can be

this

image

queenerestor:

Me too, Aragorn. Me too.

COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster
  • Me: leaves a photoshoot half way through to go punch seagulls and shake bushes for energy

dapperfucker:

best of “she wears short skirts”

lucifers-ass-cheek:

Posts that are only funny because of the fucked up comments part 2 (part 1)

Neko